Stacey Covington-Lee


My Parent - My Friend

Posted on March 7, 2011 at 12:19 AM

Welcome Back!


I'm so glad that you chose to visit the site and participate in the conversation.


Back in the day, parents lived by the philosophy that children were to be seen, not heard. Discipline was handed out in heavy doses, respect was demanded and punishments could be harsh. Conversations between parent and child seemed to be limited and vital information was shared only on a need to know basis. Please keep in mind that back in the day there seemed to be a lot less crime, school violence, bullying and incidents of teen pregnancy.


In todays society, children are more vocal than ever. Participation in "adult" conversation seems to be no big deal. Discipline consists of "time out" and punishment may mean that you don't get that new pair of Jordans. Many parents are proud of the fact that they are their childens friend. Lets not lose sight of the fact that bullying is out of control and school violence, as well as crime in general, is on the rise. Teen pregnancy seems to be a fad, it's even glorified on television.


With all of that being said, do you feel that it is possible to be an effective parent while trying to be your childs friend? Does a child have as high of a respect level for the friend as they do for the parent? Can the open dialog between parent and child go too far? Where do you draw the line? Lastly, is there a link between the rise in crime, teen pregnancy, etc. and the new friendly way of parenting?


I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.


Peace and Blessings,

Stacey Covington-Lee     



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Reply Shwannah
6:09 PM on March 13, 2011 
Hi Stacey,
Well, I know that I am from the old school and was raised in a semi-strict home, I knew what I could do and what I could not do. I don't remember being my moms friend, she was so into church, which I was there right along with her.
I am the proud parent of 2 girls and I am friendly with them, and sometimes, they have tried to cross the line and I have to remind them that I am not one of your friends, so please let's not go there. They still respect me and I respect them and we just make it do what it do!!!
Reply [email protected]
2:51 PM on March 13, 2011 
Happy almost Spring Stacey,
My son is 9 and used to continuously ask, "Are we friend"? Being an only child and living away from family has put me in the role of playmate, nurturer, nurse, disciplinarian... I always tell him "no" we are not friends, I am your mother. Yes I play with you, but there is a line that cannot be crossed in this relationship. I mean business and when you cannot listen to me, there will be consequences.
He has not asked the question lately, but truly there are too many parents who have befriended their children and act more like siblings. A generation lost and unaware of respect for elders or authority. I am a substitute teacher and wow, some of these children should be in a scared straight program, because they are truly headed to state institutions for 3 hots and a cot.
My mom and I did not transition as well from parent to "friend". It was hard for me to allow her to remove the parent hat. Being over 40, I have finally allowed the girlfriend talk to enter our conversations, but it is still a bit weird to me. Pops was easy because he was a fan and cheerleader, mom kept that watchful eye and I could not pull fast ones over on her as easily.
"Parents forever, friends in due time"
Reply Stacey
1:14 AM on March 10, 2011 
Sabrina, looks like we are on the same page. As I like to tell my son, "you've got plenty of friends but I am NOT one of them." However, I must admit that I am a little more tolerant than my parents were. They were very "no non-sense" kind of folks. Debating an issue would usually land you in trouble, but I find that I am more open to discussions with my son. What I am not open to is mouthing off and/or being a wise apple. Disrepsect is never allowed and that major infraction will get him snatched up quicker than anything else.

I will say that what I have appreciated most from my mother is that she allowed herself to transition from parent to friend as her children reached adulthood. My mom is now my confidant, best friend, and keeper of all of my secrets. Her "friend" advise is always honest, straight forward and in my best interest. But again, this only took place after I reached adulthood. I hope to become the same for my son, after he is grown.

Peace & Blessings,
Reply Sabrina
7:34 AM on March 1, 2011 
Good morning Stacey,

Yes I remember the day when our children was for show and not to be heard. That is what I expect today. I am the parent of twin boys, almost 16 years. We have to not take it lightly when God intrust us and gives the opportunity to be parents, yes the opportunity! Because there are a lot of people wish that they could be a parent.
Anyway I am from the old school because I raise my kids the way I was raised. What I say is law! I started that from the very beginning. We cant wait until the kids get old and out of control. It's like when I cook dinner I will cook a full course meal and my kids are to eat what ever I cook., they are not allowed to pick and choose what portions they want to eat.
It is not good to befriend your kids. We are to be parents, Stacey I am 40 plus years old and my twins will be 16 years old in April. Why would I want to be friends with a 16 year old boy? Kids go to school to meet friends their own age. We are to love our kids likes parents not like friends.....Amen walls!!!.. Our kids will respect us in the long run. We have to give them the neccesary training that only a parent can give them in order for them to prepare for there family in the future. People if we cant understand what is wrong with our youth then we need to look and ourselves and ask this question. What kind of parent are you? Its like Father like Son and Like Mother like Daughter.

Sabrina- Sistah Girlz Turning Pages Book Club